Tretinoin and Emotions

Tretinoin is a medication used to treat severe acne, and it can significantly affect emotions.

Ever since my senior year of high school, my skin has been in poor condition. I have visited numerous hospitals, but none of them yielded good results. Eventually, I lost faith in those doctors.

Literature and Self-treatment

So I began my journey of being my own doctor. I went through recent medical literature on acne, both domestic and international, especially reviews.

• Carbohydrates are a significant factor in causing severe acne.
• Dairy is also a contributing factor (and I am lactose intolerant).
• Tretinoin is currently the most effective medication for treating severe acne, but it comes with significant side effects: 100% chance of chapped lips, a possibility of emotional instability, and even depression.
• I also found some formulas for topical acne treatments from CNKI (due to knowing Zhang Ergou).

Quitting Sugar

From then on, I basically quit consuming sugar and dairy products, especially sugar. Friends and colleagues who know about my sugar-free diet find it hard to believe and wonder how I can resist it. Some even joke that I must have quit a drug addiction. I avoid desserts, pastries, cakes, sweetened beverages like bubble tea, and even dishes with high sugar content (such as braised pork and sweet and sour pork).

I can’t remember exactly how it felt when I first started quitting sugar, but it probably wasn’t that difficult. I have a relatively strong tolerance for things (although it can affect my mental well-being and cause psychological issues).

This habit has continued for over 10 years now. I have developed the habit of checking the sugar content on ingredient labels before buying any products. Moreover, I have become averse to the taste of sugar. What may be slightly sweet for others has become intolerable for me.

Tretinoin

Regarding tretinoin, I first started taking it in the autumn of 2014 when I was roommates with Rong Yan. Rong Yan’s doctor prescribed this medication, so I thought I should give it a try. I took it for almost a year until the following autumn. I could clearly see that tretinoin was effective in treating acne, but the side effects were severe. I developed extreme chapped lips, and I even asked Si Ji if she had any recommended lip balms.

Aside from the severe chapped lips, I frequently experienced emotional instability, accompanied by low moods and heightened sensitivity (as I am already a sensitive person). I became more prone to irritability, which is unusual for me as I am generally calm. In the first half of 2016, I entered my first romantic relationship, and I struggled with handling it. Combined with the effects of tretinoin, my overall well-being was poor. I often had problems managing my emotions at night, ending up sleeping on a bench in the Qianfoshan Park (which led to multiple colds and fevers). Eventually, I stopped taking the medication, and my emotional control improved significantly.

Earlier this year, after being together with Yingying, we went to a prestigious hospital (which was notoriously difficult to get an appointment at, but Yingying managed to secure one) in May. The doctor prescribed tretinoin again, and I decided to give it another try. This time, I mixed it with food and took it during dinner. However, by July, I started to experience similar feelings again: frequent low moods, emotional instability, and a constant sense of fatigue. As long as I am not fatigued, I can fully manage my emotions. But once exhaustion sets in and my mental energy diminishes, I no longer have the capacity to control, or even suppress, these emotions. Consequently, I exhibit strange behaviors, like sitting randomly on the ground, have inexplicable thoughts that I can’t express, and extreme sensitivity. Even the slightest remark I latch onto can be amplified infinitely.

Emotion Control

The measures I can take include:

• Stop taking the medication: This is relatively straightforward.
• Ensure sufficient sleep: This is currently a bit challenging.
  • Aim to sleep early, between 11:30 pm and 12:30 am.
  • I have shallow sleep, easily disturbed by noise or disruptions: minimize disturbances.
  • Increase exercise: Start jogging or engage in physical activities after returning home. Begin learning skateboarding.
    

Furthermore, when I find myself in a state of depression or unhappiness, I mustn’t be lazy. I must force myself to make quick changes. It could be as simple as cleaning my room, taking a shower, going for a run, or cycling. I may even find a secluded place to cry. The key is to divert my attention temporarily and distance myself from familiar surroundings.