Celebrating the Festival

The moment I saw the title, I thought of Bei Dao’s “Celebrating the Festival”.

The glass is clear, the oranges gleaming.

Regardless of Bei Dao’s state of mind at that time, these words reveal anticipation and hope, as well as irony and resignation when read.

However, this piece is just meant to record this year’s Spring Festival.

Going Home

I went back home on the 29th day of the twelfth lunar month. I thought there would be a lot of people going home this year and that it would be hard to get high-speed train tickets, so I bought my return ticket well in advance (checking on 12306, the date was January 6th).

At that time, a friend invited me to a bar in Wudaokou to reminisce about our youth, but I suffer from crowd phobia (I’m fine with people I know, but I feel really uncomfortable with too many unfamiliar people, just like the university canteen and crowded subway stations during rush hour, especially Jintai Road subway station, which gave me a terrible experience), so I declined the invitation.

However, when we talked about going home for Spring Festival, I decided to check train tickets and found that the direct tickets were all sold out, but there were still a few trains to Qingdao, so I bought one.

But as the holiday drew closer, I checked again and found that there were actually many direct tickets available, so I returned and rebooked my ticket.

I arrived home in the afternoon. As soon as I approached the door, our little dog started barking, and when I actually entered the house, it stopped (seems like he recognized me).

Spring Festival

It’s been two years since I last celebrated Spring Festival at home, so it felt a bit strange to go back this year. On New Year’s Eve, the fireworks outside were spectacular, but against the backdrop of the Spring Festival Gala (I didn’t pay much attention to it), I watched an episode of “The Three-Body Problem”. As a night owl, it’s rare for me to feel sleepy.

On the first day of the lunar year, my younger sister (my aunt’s daughter) came to my house. At the age of five and a half, it’s the mischievous age, but I just found the little girl cute. She loved going to play with my grandmother. I still remember when she was very young (less than two years old), she came to my house. Back then, she couldn’t walk steadily yet, and she called me “big brother” in a childish voice. If I have the chance, I also want to have a daughter.

Then various aunties came over to visit my grandmother, and we took a family photo together.

We talked about the jobs of my younger cousin and younger sister (both are teachers). My younger sister has a great personality and never has an awkward moment. Since high school, my younger cousin has become quieter. This year, everyone gathered together and played poker (a Shandong people’s favorite game).

The atmosphere of Spring Festival has faded since the year I stopped playing firecrackers, but it’s not because there’s no festive atmosphere anymore, it’s because I’m no longer the happiest person.

Spring Festival has become a holiday that can’t compare to Labor Day and National Day. After all, on May 1st and October 1st, I don’t have the pressure to visit relatives and friends. I can really just go home to see my parents and then take a few days to rest and relax.

Due to the COVID-19 situation in Beijing before, I didn’t go home for Spring Festival for two years. Instead of being troubled, I actually felt very happy. I could cook the food I love, and there was no need to wake up early in the morning. I could sit quietly by the window, holding a handful of melon seeds and listening to music peacefully.

Returning to Beijing

Last year, a friend bought a house, and I asked my father to hang a calligraphy and painting for him, but due to the continuous COVID-19 lockdown in 2022, I couldn’t bring it home (the calligraphy and painting wasn’t suitable for shipping). When I went home this year, I found out that someone else had already taken it.

There was nothing I could do, so I asked my father to find me an older one (also one that my father framed), which featured Yang Shen’s “The Immortal by the Riverside”.

After returning, I tidied up my place, sorted out my mood, and prepared to start my upcoming work!

If we observe the changes, we realize that the universe cannot be grasped in a single instant; if we observe the unchanging, everything and I are endless.